Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
