How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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