I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
