why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
