I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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