I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
