I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
