Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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