Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
