Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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