How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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