k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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