hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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