My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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