We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
