something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I could fuck to npr.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
