Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
