I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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