I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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