If i come over, it means nothing
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
