I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
