I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
