Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
