8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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