yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
