Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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