The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
