Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
