I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
