Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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