we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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