covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
