I must be too annoying 4 u.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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