I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize