I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
