I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize