she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
