I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish you could order shots online.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
