i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
