I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
