you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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