i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
