Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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