I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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