I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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