he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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