You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
