do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Randomize
