he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
