Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize