he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
