Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
