gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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