pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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