I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
