...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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