Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
