I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
