People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
