Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
