TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
