bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
3pm strippers are depressing
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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